Never was out of love
And never continued to be in love,
Not with the same
Neither the loved one remained
The same
Nor it is possible
To live without love
Kanimozhi
So, I wrote in my diary yesterday. Yep.. I have realized that I have always written in my diary. And hey I start with 'Dear Diary' as well. Anyway, I made a few commitments. I am known to myself for making false promises and those have hurt none other than myself. I have had the time to really think about myself and where I want to be. I have been exposing myself to things I love - arts, film, day-dreaming, music, and being on top of it all! I feel happy. I feel at home with myself. I do not know how that makes sense, but I just feel like I am in the right place doing the right thing.
I see people my age who have accomplished a lot. And I admire them. I aspire to be somewhere higher too. I made a commitment myself and I am working hard to be there and be proud of what I can do.
The poem above is from a literary review article on Kanimozhi. Very true. I have been thinking and trying lately to not believe in love. I don't quite know. I don't know if I should be practical or romantic. Being romantic comes with vulnerability. I have been thinking of my life to be all about me. I don't have room to be vulnerable. But I want to be true. And there's the conflict. I do not know how I should let myself be.
But for now, I will continue being a dreamer.
Love,
Bharathi
