Waiting Period

I get bored so often and so quickly. I do not like this waiting period. That is what I call it. It is as if I have put a pause on life - consists of things I like doing - only to sulk about my exciting future being still a year away. I waste away my time to exploring people on facebook and youtube.
I am 24 and I still waiting for my life to happen. Why do I wait for it to happen when I realize that I can change it right now to the way I want it to be?
What do I want it to be?

I want to lead a healthy lifestyle, I want to be well-aware of current events in the world not only in international affairs but in arts, and lifestyle. I wonder why I did not study to be a journalist, or a designer, or some form of a creator.

I should stop complaining about this and get on with making life happen now.

Anyway, this is a space for me to let out. There, I did it.

Will be back with a better outlook :)

Love,

Me!

Never was out of love

And never continued to be in love,

Not with the same

Neither the loved one remained

The same

Nor it is possible

To live without love

Kanimozhi

So, I wrote in my diary yesterday. Yep.. I have realized that I have always written in my diary. And hey I start with 'Dear Diary' as well. Anyway, I made a few commitments. I am known to myself for making false promises and those have hurt none other than myself. I have had the time to really think about myself and where I want to be. I have been exposing myself to things I love - arts, film, day-dreaming, music, and being on top of it all! I feel happy. I feel at home with myself. I do not know how that makes sense, but I just feel like I am in the right place doing the right thing.

I see people my age who have accomplished a lot. And I admire them. I aspire to be somewhere higher too. I made a commitment myself and I am working hard to be there and be proud of what I can do.

The poem above is from a literary review article on Kanimozhi. Very true. I have been thinking and trying lately to not believe in love. I don't quite know. I don't know if I should be practical or romantic. Being romantic comes with vulnerability. I have been thinking of my life to be all about me. I don't have room to be vulnerable. But I want to be true. And there's the conflict. I do not know how I should let myself be.

But for now, I will continue being a dreamer.

Love,

Bharathi

Writing - my biggest fear

Well I decided to do it! And today will be a great day.